Wednesday, August 20, 2008

My Congratulations to Ellen and Portia

The die is cast, come weal, come woe,
Two lives are joined together.
For better or for worse the link
Which naught but death can sever.

The die is cast, come grief, come joy,
Come richer or come poorer.
If love but binds the mystic tie,
Blest is the bridal hour.

-- Mary Weston Fordham

I'm fifty years old and I could care less about the sentiment in that poem. And then I saw the cover of People.

Mazel tov, ladies!!

I have watched the gay marriage debate from the sidelines. Never did it and never thought about it. That's how I was raised - in a time when marriage was not an option for me. I would surmise that getting married is nice but honestly I would rather be able to hold George's hand in a restaurant without fear of retribution (otherwise since it certainly wouldn't be divine). I want to be able to run to George in an airport like they did in those commercials from the 70s without getting stares and glares. (OK, I'm sure some would stare if we were running slo-mo towards each other, arms akimbo, but you know what I mean.) And I want people to understand the trials and tribulations and the love and the hate and the laughs and the cries that George and I face every day in our relationship is just like those faced by the straight couples to...get...married.

Dearest Ellen:
I can't begin to tell you the rush of feelings I had when I saw your lovely photo on the cover of People magazine. Yes, you were on the cover of People for coming out but that was you. And not to trivialize the decision but, you just came out at work. I've been living my life out at work since I've been...well...working. From cleaning toilets to tax collection for the City of Los Angeles; from high tech firms in Silicon Valley to little Paperback Booksmith - everyone knew and no one made it an issue. I was even an out and proud cabaret singer and comic before, during and after your coming out year of 1996. I realize Hollywood and celebrity are a different animal and I understand the impact you made globally and the effect it has and will continue to have on younger people now coming to terms and oldsters trying to navigate the minefield. But personally, been there done that.

Then I saw the cover of People.

Dear Portia:

I've seen you in Ally MacBeal. I also saw you once or twice in Arrested Development but that was only the episodes in which Liza was appearing. (Did I mention I was a gay man?) One day I read that you and Ellen were having a romance. Hmmm, I thought. Who knew? She must be a GREAT actress. And then I moved on - because you moved on. You were non-chalant which made it easy for everyone (certainly in the media) to accept your relationship with Ellen, even with the burden of prominence. Considering the tabloid/gossip/blog explosion that has occurred since your wife came out, you are a role model for many. And if I may say so, a woman with grace.

Then I saw the cover of People.

And now I am now thinking of marriage. The picture has touched my New York heart as have your nuptials. And those of everyone who has followed, or will follow, this path. Hell, if our coupledom has lasted five years, marriage should be a cinch!

So, where are you registered?

Or should I just send a Hallmark card?

all the best to you both,

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