Find the Wrong in Right: An Idiocratic Music Video

The truth is crass.



Music by Michael Masser, New Lyrics by A Man with A Mouse

I believe that Glenn Beck is an asshole
Shedding tears that crocodiles won't shed
Wipe away the skid marks on your sallow cheeks
Have you no sense of right; I'll make it easier
For the people listening - your euphemistic words, newspeak

I believe that Sarah is a retard
I can use the word - it's satire
She's classified type 1 on the Bristol Chart
That's very hard to pass
But tea bagging depends on her

I decided long ago, never to listen to Ann Coulter
He is spoiled, He's a witch
But he don't care - he think's he's rich
Michelle Malkin is quite the shrew
Birth right American - hypocrite too.

And there's the spinning man himself
Traditionalist top,
O'Reilly is a fabulist who
Bottoms to Aesop
Yes, he's a story telling man
But loud and crude and coarse
And just like all the rest of them
Leaves no room for discourse

I believe that Hannity's a sphincter
Verbalizing 6 on that Bristol Chart
Using Christ in ways that He wouldn't condone
Has Sean no sense of shame; I'll make it easier
For the people listening - your fair and balanced cred is gone

I decided long ago, never to worry 'bout Dick Cheney
His heart don't work, he won't be mourned
Hell hath no fury like a heart that's scorned
No matter what his daughters think
His work in Wash-ing-ton did stink

Less we forget the false prophet
A hominal dildo
With trusted dingleberries; his name is Rush Limbaugh
Yes, he espouses crap he leaves
On hair around his hole
It's dung on dung on dung on dung on dung, ditto.

So if by chance, a special bill
You feel is worth the fight
Will not be signed into a law
Find the wrong in right

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More than 3 Lines About the Film 2012

I ventured to a public movie theater to see 2012, hoping for a throwback to classics of the genre like The Poseidon Adventure and Earthquake. The closest they got was a story line concerning the classic Mona Lisa painting that left me hanging about the ultimate fate of the hallowed piece of art. But more so than that - the movie is really terrible. Some points I thought about during the time it took me to finish this three hour snooze fest. Spoilers below but it's not rocket science.

• President Danny Glover called a presidential summit that looked like Hollywood Squares.


• The geologist's phone call saying goodbye to his Dad was treacly and cringe-inducing.


• The digital fire was VERY red.


• John Cusack fell into a crack in the earth and was hanging on by his hands. The edit went from his fingers on the top of the cliff to his feet jumping back on soil like we should imagine how he made it back up and move on.


• The Sex Guru from the extremely funny The Guru creates havoc as a geologist.

The most exciting part of the movie was trying to make my box of Raisinettes last the entire three hours. I didn't - so I went to the bathroom, got a drink of water, bought a New York pretzel, looked at the New Movies posters, walked back into the theatre and STILL the earth was being destroyed. OMG, there's more?

• The special effects are really sucky. You can feel the line around the actors who were filmed on green screen while a flat CGI image is placed behind them.


• Amanda Peet was in a horrifying natural disaster and asked the Danish girl to do something but still, as the world was falling around them, Amanda remembered to say please; that was nice.


• If I heard can't start the engine until we lower the gate one more time I was really going to vomit.


• Towards the end, those in the ark were watching the disaster occurrences on TV as we were in the theatre watching them on a screen watching the disaster occurrences on TV. We paid but they got paid.


• I found it odd that we were following the little girl's incontinence issues throughout the movie. But still and all, at the end (SPOILER) when the little girl said, 'No more Pull-Ups' I was pleased she had gotten over her issues. Think of it though, the world is destroyed and I'm living on an ark from which I might never be able to leave? I might choose this time to START pissing my pants rather than to remove my Pull-Ups.

The Palin 2012 movie trailer recently on Saturday Night Live was much more enjoyable. And at 1:54 much less of an infringement on your time.

Obama: Schlepping for the..

A month after we moved into our house in Denver, I was driving south on Wadsworth Blvd. on my way to the in-laws (if there was a law). Waiting at a red light, I watched a man at the church on the corner cleaning up the letters he hadn't used for the church's sign. It touted the following Sunday's sermon. I thought the sign was funny but I also thought it odd that the cleric wrote it did not understand the implicit meaning of the words. I went back the next day to take a picture.



Unfortunately (I can only assume that) when the cleric saw the sign in the light of day, it (sic) must have finally understood because the words were gone.

A month ago I received an email with a picture from another house of worship. This one used a Yiddish word that I have heard often in my 50 years.



Yiddish is, in a simplistic nutshell, a German language written in Hebrew. In German and Yiddish, shvarts means black. Although I can't answer to any German interpretation I can tell you that shvartser in Yiddish means black person and the word is used as a derogatory term by alter kakers (a derogatory Yiddish term for old person). In this case, the cleric who wrote it did understand the explicit meaning in the words - vote for Barack Obama. I thought it a brilliant and funny attempt to reach the same group of people that brilliant and funny Sarah Silverman wants you to reach in the video, The Great Schlep.



After all this, it turns out that the latter sign was created online at a site called Church Sign Generator. When I saw what you could do on this site, I decided to recreate the former sign using the name of the zealous pentecostal church Sarah Palin left in 2002 - right before her first run for a statewide office. How convenient!

Palin didn't win her first run. I can only hope this generated church sign helps to defeat her (and the alter kaker she's running with) in her first run for national office.

UPDATE 10/23: Even if you and I don't think this race is about race, there are plenty who do.

UPDATE 10/24: People are schlepping.

UPDATE 10/29: More information on her sashay from the WAOG can be found in the Newsweek article, What Are Sarah Palin's Religious Beliefs: Jesus and Witches.

Sarah Palin: Not America's Next Top Model Either

I like totally spaced on the premiere of America's Next Top Model a few weeks back. So last night I went straight to CWTV.com and got caught up with transgendered Isis, darkly sexual Elina, and can't-quite-figure-her-out Clark.



The premiere episode had the following exchange between Tyra and ultimately-axed contestant, Susan. With a BA in American and English Literature from Harvard University, Susan has never heard of Jack London's White Fang, Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca, Pearl S. Buck's The Good Earth or Shakespeare's Viola. She does though remember Jane Eyre. She probably saw the movie with Keira Knightley. (Did she even make Jane Eyre? Yet?)

It's amazing to watch Ms. Banks spout off the names of these books. She dedicated the second episode of ANTM to getting out the vote. Granted it was girls in minis in front of a voting booth but you do what you can. Tyra, you are fab-oo!

Today, I happened on this clip of Katie Couric asking Sarah Palin why Alaska's proximity to Russia can be considered foreign policy experience. With a BA in Journalism from the University of Idaho, Palin looks caught in the headlights and can't put a coherent thought into a grammatically correct sentence. She does though complete a few towards the end with the type of brilliant insight I want in a vice president.



And for a quick take on Palisn't's (sic) escapades in the un-truth, here's a pictorial by Tim Dickinson of Rolling Stone called The Truth About Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin's credentials as a reformer are nothing but spin. She has sided with Big Oil, lobbied to increase pork spending and abused her public power to carry out personal vendettas. Here's a guide to separating myth from fact.

This is a nightmare.

Which Candidate Is Better Educated?

No matter how old I am or how many jobs I may apply for, I am always asked about my education and college degree. Here are the answers to that question regarding our presidential and vice-presidential candidates.

John McCain

1. United States Naval Academy: Class rank 894 of 899*

Barack Obama

1. Occidental College: 2 years


2. Columbia University: B.A. Political Science with a specialization in international relations


3. Harvard University: Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude*

Sarah Palin

1. Hawaii Pacific University: 1 semester


2. North Idaho College: 2 semesters - general study


3. University of Idaho: 2 semesters - journalism


4. Matanuska-Susitna College: 1 semester


5. Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester


6. University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in journalism*

Joeseph Biden

1. University of Delaware: B.A. in history and B.A. in political science


2. Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)*

Gracias, Monsieur Bissell.

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* As far as I know, the United States Naval Academy doesn't qualify their degrees (as others do with a B.A. or J.D. - doctorate of law) so I added John McCain's ranking as the qualifier. Copied from the McCain web site regarding his education:

John attended college at the United States Naval Academy, and launched a 22-year career as a naval aviator upon his graduation.

Sarah Palisn't: Well-Liked Among Alaskan Women

Here's a link to a very interesting account of the Alaska Women Reject Palin rally.

And here's what Tina Fey has to say on the whole Palisn't matter.



I love Tina Fey.

Matt Damon on Sarah Palin

Matt Damon speaks with intelligence and aplomb about the nomination of Sarah Palin as the Republican Vice Presidential candidate.