All That Trash

We have three containers in the alley behind our house that once a week get opened and emptied by two burly men in a glompin' big mechanical truck. (I hope these so-called garbage men get paid well for their contribution to society.) There are two of us in my household (and assorted animals) so it's not often that even one of the containers is full let alone all three; we often have one grocery shopping bag full of garbage each week for weeks on end. I don't know why but its true.

I wonder though do the burly men open up each container when they see it closed, and curse the resident when they see the container is empty? In other words, are we supposed to leave our containers open or closed? I always close them so the squirrels and other weather elements do not get inside. My across-the-alley neighbor keeps their containers open. The squirrels are always ripping the bags and scattering it's contents all over the alley. That's not very neighborly. In fact, if you're reading this 2047 Belmont Ave Denver CO clean up your act! (Glad to get that off my chest.)

Back to the trash at hand, if I leave the containers open the burly men don't have to take the time and their day possibly goes quicker, but the squirrels get in. So every week I go back to the alley wondering if these burly men opened all three of my containers or just the one in which I usually drop the load. And every week I go back to the alley and pick up three lids to place back on the containers. This week though I happened to have three containers filled with spring cleaning objets d'art. So, of course, I wondered if this would be the week they only look in the one. So I went back to the alley and, lo and behold, had to pick up three lids. Yep, all three. All my garbage was gone.

If you think about it though, it's part of their job. If they didn't open one and left it full, I would be the first to call the Sanitation Department complaining. (Hey, I pay for it.) So, thanks guys, for opening the can even when you know it's empty. Although if you think about it, they probably have better things to do with their time then I.

Enjoy this video done for The Cramps tune, Garbage Man.

Two Nightmares on Birch Street

Twice in the past week I sat bolt upright in bed at 2:30 A.M. because of a horrible nightmare. Both were caused not by phantasms but by frightening, real life pictures I had seen.

The morning before the first nightmare started casually enough with a cup of coffee and an early morning perusal of some news web sites. One story lead to another link which lead to another story which lead to another link which lead to another story which finally lead to the picture that disrupted my sleep later that night.



I can't imagine the self-esteem of a woman who would do this to herself. I won't say anything disparaging about this because, it seems to me, she disparages herself enough. How can someone who has (or had) everything do this and then take a walk on the red carpet? That night I went to sleep with a sweet little dog and a furry little cat and woke up sweating and terrified by the monster that had the ponem of Joan Van Ark.

The following week I was awoken again, sweating and terrified, by another picture.



This picture was used for the Huckabee family Christmas card while Mike Huckabee was governor of Arkansas. Huckabee is a fat, white male running for the Republication nomination for president. He has two fat, white male sons. They are all wearing the same shirt. Can you tell who is whom? It's similar to the old Jergen's television commercial where they showed a pair of hands and the viewer had to decide which was the mother and which was the daughter. I wondered what type of grown man would ask his children to dress in the same shirt as he for a photograph. And then I wondered what type of adult child wouldn't say, "Dad, wtf? I'm not wearing the same shirt as you." So I decided to do some research into this Stepford family.

• Former Baptist minister Mike Huckabee has been a fat guy for the bulk of his career as a public servant. In 2003 his doctor diagnosed him with Type 2 diabetes and told him if he didn't change his eating habits and start to exercise he would be dead within 10 years. Of course, he wanted to live so he lost a lot of weight and wrote a book telling everyone to do so also...proselytizing about this as he does about his religion.
  
  
  
  And it is now coming to light that, for political purposes, Huckabee implored the Arkansas Parole Board to release a rapist from jail who then went on to rape and murder twice more.
  
  I wish his doctor was mute.


• Janet Huckabee is a turkey hunter (which explains her marriage to Mike) and a dog strangler (see above). In 2004, she agreed to convert her marriage to a covenant marriage. This is a marriage contract option that compels the couple to seek counseling if problems develop. It provides limited grounds for divorce or separation, and restricts lawsuits against spouses. According to Mike, who signed the Covenant Marriage Act into law in Arkansas, it "offers couples a chance to be held to a higher level of marital commitment." Interesting that he feels the act of marriage alone is not enough.


• John Mark Huckabee (left kneeling I think), the eldest boy, is rumored to be a purveyor of fine pornographic magazines. According to his mom, John Mark is like a radio station: "You tune in a radio and every now and then you'll hit a frequency and think, Man, I wish I could get that and you don't quite get it, but every now and then you get it? Well, John Mark is kind of like that." I'm not sure who that quote tells us more about - mother or son?


• David Huckabee was dismissed in 1998 as a Boy Scout counselor after he, then 17, was involved in the hanging and torture of a stray dog with mange. In 2007, he was arrested for attempting to board a plane departing from Little Rock, Arkansas with a loaded Glock handgun. He pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge brought against him for "attempting to carry a gun in a prohibited place." He was also fined by the city of Jonesboro for $62.50 for operating two businesses without a license. So incensed by this fine was this fine young man that he paid it with 6250 pennies. Huckabee is also quoted as having said, "my dream is to either be the President or to be the one who makes the President the President." Well, he wouldn't be the first idiot elected president, or the first idiot to make the president the president.


• Sarah Huckabee is the seed of Mike and Janet Huckabee. She is also wearing a shirt that matches her mom's. At this point, that's enough. But if you want more there's an interview with her here.
  

After finding out these little tidbits about a family that purports to be Christian now I wonder what type of American would actually vote for this man?

Bees Gone

Remember Highlights? It's a children's magazine that I always found in the doctor's office when I was younger. It had a section called Hidden Pictures in which you had to find the differences between two almost identical pictures.

In the spirit of Highlights, here are two pictures of my home in Denver. The first was taken before it was purchased. The second was taken a few weeks back. I've already circled the differences so you don't have to pull your hair out.



So, what actually is missing? An 80 year old silver maple tree.

We got a letter from the Denver Parks Department in April, 2007 telling us that the trunk of this tree was hollow and a danger to the community. We needed to choose one of the approved tree removal companies and take it down within 45 days. It was a real sad time as we collected bids from a number of companies; not only for the loss of the tree but for us as well. We were getting quotes upwards of $2000.

I called the arbor agent and told him that the expense was way beyond our budget. He mentioned that if we did nothing, the department would remove the tree for $903. Uh, can I get that in writing?

So we did nothing and sure enough on June 2, this was confirmed in a letter. And on July 6-7, the tree was removed. On July 9, the stump was ground down. Here are some pictures I took of the process.













We were able to use some of the branches to line the plant beds in our backyard so the tree's spirit is still around. But never again will our home be shaded by the canopy of a silver maple tree. (You can no longer plant these trees in the city of Denver.) Nor will the bees, who lived in the trunk longer than we lived in the house, have a home as I explain in this video.