Sammy Stops The World starring Sammy Davis, Jr. & Marian Mercer

Sammy Davis, Jr. toured the country, played on Broadway and filmed for television a custom version of the Anthony Newley/Leslie Bricusse musical, Stop The World I Want To Get Off. This is the filmed production which also starred Marian Mercer.

Sammy Stops The World came after Davis had a chart hit with the musical's signature tune, What Kind Of Fool Am I?. Others included in this production's creative team include Newley, Bricusse, director Mel Shapiro, producer Hillard Elkins, and Sammy's ubiquitous musical director, George Rhodes. I've also uploaded a PDF of the original theater program to archive.org. Download the program here: https://archive.org/details/sammy-stops-the-world

And the Sammy rhythm doesn't stop there! Here's a special piece of Sammy ephemera. This concert program was bought by my Mom and Dad when they went to see Sammy (in Vegas, I believe) sometime around 1970/71. The program is a short biography of Sammy and his career with loads of pictures. Enjoy!

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Grease: A New ’50’s Rock ’N’ Roll Musical

In 1972, Pocket Books published Grease: A New ’50’s Rock ’N’ Roll Musical as a mass market paperback with the tag The Book of the Newest Broadway Hit. The tie-in contains the 1972 libretto of the musical, 12 black and white photographs from the production (Barry Bostwick, Adrienne Barbeau, etc.) and one color cover photo. You can download a PDF of this out-of-print paperback from here.

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Ellen Foley, Debbie Allen and Mimi Kennedy

In 1976 the BBC series Rock Follies, already a success in the United Kingdom, crossed the Atlantic and became a success on PBS stations in the United States. The scripted series of six episodes told the story of The Little Ladies, three women (played by Evita's Julie Covington, Alberto VO5's Rula Lenska and the Royal Shakespeare Company's Charlotte Cornwell) trying to hit it big in the rock music. It was a hit in the United States and there was (seemingly) an attempt to replicate that success with American talent when Kenny Solms and Gail Parent created a 4-episode variety show called 3 Girls 3.

3 Girls 3 starred three then-unknowns Debbie Allen, Ellen Foley and Mimi Kennedy whose overnight success as the stars was the show's premise. In the context of the show, the little ladies played themselves with Allen the dancer, Foley the singer and Kennedy the comic - although all three sang, danced and performed in sketches. The first episode aired in March, 1977 right after its broadcasting network, NBC, decided to cancel it. The three remaining episodes aired during the summer of 1977. All four episodes in their entirety can be found on Mimi Kennedy's YouTube Channel. There's also some interesting videos on Kenny Solms YouTube channel. I've posted some lovely performances by one of my favorite singers, Ellen Foley, and some other musical moments from the show.

Ellen Foley sings New Kid In Town

Debbie Allen, Ellen Foley and Mimi Kennedy sing Broadway Baby

Debbie Allen performs The Music and the Mirror

Ellen Foley sings This One's For You

Ellen Foley sings Dear Friend/Will He Love Me from She Loves Me

3 Girls 3 Theme Song

Celebrity Maids

Debbie Allen, Ellen Foley and Mimi Kennedy sing Sondheim's You Could Drive A Person Crazy with, of all people, Steve Martin, the wild and crazy guy

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Ode to Billie Joe Goes DISCO!

WORLD INTERNET PREMIERE: Sweet Potato Pie recorded one song although its two members, Laurin Rinder and Michael Lewis, were the creatives behind a multitude of disco groups including El Coco (Cocomotion), Le Pamplemousse (Le Spank), Saint Tropez (One More Minute) and Tuxedo Junction. The song, Ode To Billy (sic) Joe, is a northern soul disco version of Bobbie Gentry’s Ode To Billie Joe - and it's really very good. The single was released in 1976. I have no idea why people misspell the name 'Billie' though; the movie also uses the misspelled 'Billy'. Is it more masculine?

Rachael Lily Rosenbloom Lives!

With all the Hello, Dolly-baloo last week, another small yet pivotal performance (in the annals of musical theatre history) took place on Monday March 13, 2017: the first performance in 44 years of Paul Jabara's self-proclaimed disco musical Rachael Lily Rosenbloom ... And Don't You Ever Forget It.

Written almost entirely by Jabara (with book help from Tom Eyen), Rachael... never made it to Broadway despite seven previews at the Broadhurst Theatre. Since the musical Carrie has been revamped and is now produced often, Rachael... captures the crown as the most notorious flop in Broadway history. Unfortunately, even with the tweaks afforded the show for this concert staging, one can see why. The book is a pastiche of musical theatre references and campy laughs that don't really gel as a compelling story. And the characterization of Rachael makes no sense within the context of, for example, the title - Rachael changes her name to Raquel halfway through the show. In other words, we've forgotten it.

The songs are fun but then Paul Jabara writes fun songs. Remember It's Raining Men, The Main Event, No More Tears (Enough Is Enough) and his Oscar-winning Last Dance? The latter was appended to this concert as a finale but none of Rachael...'s score is as memorable as the aforementioned pop hits although Dear Miss Streisand and Broadway Rhythm immediately come to mind as standouts. (Jabara did record a revision of the musical's Ocho Rios on his 1986 album De La Noche: The True Story (A Poperetta).)

Interestingly, on my very rare audience recording (puff, puff) of one of the 1973 previews (starring Ellen Greene and Anita Morris), the audience is quite receptive to the performance - as was the audience last week at Feinstein’s/54 Below. In my opinion, it had more to do with the performers and audience than the material being performed. Bonnie Milligan (as Rachael), Julia Mattison (as Stella Starfuckoff, the role originated by Morris) and Anastasia McClesky had the showiest roles but all the performers and the band made the hour and 15 minute concert quite enjoyable. My conclusion though is Rachael... will now be forgotten for another 44 years.

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The Ramones at the Queens Museum

Here are some pictures of pieces on exhibit (until July 31, 2016) at the Queens Museum. The exhibit is named Hey! Ho! Let's Go! Ramones and the Birth of Punk and it's a wow!

Check out some 70s and 80s themed music tees at crewdtees.com.

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How Gloria Swanson Broke Into The Movies

The first time I took notice of Gloria Swanson she was playing a version of herself in Airport '75. I recognized her as the actress that Carol Burnett lampooned on her eponymous television variety show. A few years later when I became vegan I read how Ms. Swanson had been a vegetarian since 1928 and helped to promote her husband's book Sugar Blues (William Dufty). But it wasn't until I moved to Los Angeles that I became familiar with her career as an actress - first in silent films and then in her iconic role as Norma Desmond in Billy Wilder's Sunset Boulevard.

Swanson began her career in early Charlie Chaplin and Mack Sennett comedies. By 1919 she was working for Paramount Pictures and with director Cecil B. DeMille. Stardom followed with films such as romantic lead in such films as Don't Change Your Husband (1919), Male and Female (1919) (based on a play by J.M. Barrie), Why Change Your Wife? (1920), Something to Think About (1920), The Affairs of Anatol (1921) and Beyond The Rocks (with Rudolph Valentino). By 1926, she was making independent films as a part owner of United Artists including Sadie Thompson (a huge hit famously remade as Rain starring Joan Crawford) and Queen Kelly (the infamous unfinished film directed by her Sunset Boulevard co-star Eric Von Stroheim).

How Gloria Swanson Broke Into The Movies continues after the
WORLD INTERNET PREMIERE of How I Broke Into The Movies by Gloria Swanson.

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How I Broke Into The Movies Gloria Swanson picture
Right click to open the image in a new tab.

How I Broke Into The Movies by Gloria Swanson
Right click to open the image in a new tab.

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Aside from the WORLD INTERNET PREMIERE of Gloria Swanson's essay, I've also uploaded Killer Bees, a 1974 ABC Movie Of The Week considered her last true acting role. (Despite being touted as her television debut, Ms. Swanson had been working in the medium since 1948 when she hosted The Gloria Swanson Hour.) She stars in Killer Bees (produced by Aaron Spelling) with a pre-Charlie's Angels Kate Jackson and Edward Albert.

Killer Bees is considered in the public domain.

In 1957, Swanson performed Those Wonderful People In The Dark written
for a musical version of Sunset Boulevard she was shopping around.
Swanson held numerous backer auditions and performed the numbers
at cocktail parties, but the show didn't progress any further than that.

A cross-dressing Gloria Swanson in
Mack Sennett's The Danger Girl 1916

These musical tracks are recordings Swanson made for her films
The Trespasser (1929), Indiscreet (1931) and Perfect Understanding (1933)

How I Broke Into The Movies was published in 1930 and contains articles on the title theme written by movie stars of the day like John Gilbert, Al Jolson, Greta Nissen, Will Rogers, and 55 other notable actors. The previously published articles are:

• How Marion Davies Broke Into The Movies
• How Colleen Moore Broke Into The Movies (also announced the WORLD INTERNET PREMIERE of the Moore's 1925 silent film Ella Cinders newly scored with jazz music of the 1920s)
• How Clara Bow Broke Into The Movies

A short film in which Swanson dispenses advice to the lovelorn.
Credits imply it was the first of a series that never materialized.

Follow Michael,'s board Gloria Swanson on Pinterest.

The CBS Radio Network broadcast Sunset Boulevard on September 17, 1951
with the film's stars recreating their roles.

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Little Natasha Ryan Cried Last Night

For television movies in the 1970s, the go-to actress to play an emotionally and physically abused little girl was Natasha Ryan. In films like Sybil (playing the title role as a little girl), The Amityville Horror and The Entity (taunted by spirits with James Brolin and Barbara Hershey respectively), the appealing Ms. Ryan left an indelible impression on those who watched her cinematic abuse.

Natasha's most poignant role might be the engrossing and depressing Mary Jane Harper Cried Last Night, in which the child is physically abused by Susan Dey. The television movie (written by Joanna Lee who also wrote Dey's Cage Without A Key) also stars Kevin McCarthy, Priscilla Pointer, Rhea Perlman, Bernie Casey and Tricia O'Neil. It's on YouTube in seven parts and watching it again made me wonder what happened to the embattled Natasha Ryan.

Ryan's last film role was in 1983. The rest of her story was documented in this interview by Cindy Bellinger (who died of cancer in 2012) for the Santa Fe New Mexican. It was published on August 1, 2007 and titled Down the Street: Former Actress Finds Comfort in Glorieta.

This is a story about heading one place and ending up somewhere else. Natasha Ryan left Southern California nearly 14 years ago. "I was on my way to Canada and decided to stop three places," said Ryan. "One was Santa Fe. I liked it, so I stayed for a while. But I was curious about Wisconsin. So I tried that, too. But I came back to Santa Fe." Ryan was 23 at the time.

Now 37, she lives atop a mountain in a cabin with no running water or electricity, but it's home - maybe the only place she's been able to call home since she was a child. "I didn't have a pretty childhood," said Ryan, who was raised by a foster family. Ryan said she worked in movies and television starting at the age of 1; by the time she was 13, she had appeared in 16 movies and television series. TV shows on her resume include Starsky and Hutch and movies include The Entity and The Day Time Ended. From 1975 to 1980 she played the young Hope Alice Williams in the soap opera Days of Our Lives. In 1976, at the age of 6, she played the role of young Sybil in the TV movie about a woman with multiple-personality disorder. When she turned 13, things changed.

"Overnight I became a really fat, pimply, ugly kid, and I wanted to be like other 13-year-olds," she said. "I wanted a mohawk. I wanted to dye my hair and pierce everything. They wouldn't even let you get a tan in the summer. So I quit making movies." Ryan said she was kicked out of her foster home and ended up living on the streets in Venice, Calif. "The whole time I tried not compromising my morals for a burrito, and I tried to sleep," she said. "That's not an easy thing to do for a 14- year-old girl, to find a safe place to sleep." A few others on the streets became her protectors. "I called home several times, but my foster mother wouldn't let me come back," Ryan said. "So I continued living in an old brick building, The Ellison, with a working gigolo and drug addicts."

Many Web sites are devoted to Ryan. "My 15-year-old daughter, Sienna - I named her after a crayon - told me there are a lot of Web sites about me. But I'm completely computer illiterate (and) haven't seen them." After years of doing the "Santa Fe shuffle" - working various jobs such as blowing glass, working with silver and leather and coaching in a gym - Ryan now works in construction. "I fell into the manhole of construction," she said. She and her crew do solar construction, plastering and anything else that needs to be done, and she saves every cent for her daughter's education. "Sienna is 15 and goes to Desert Academy," Ryan said. "Her passion is acting. Guess she got the gene." Her daughter's father lives in Santa Fe, and Ryan said Sienna spends more time there. "She's embarrassed about living in a hippie shack and bringing her friends here," she said. "But I hope some day she'll become part of a back-to-the-Earth revival and thank me."

Ryan found her land in Glorieta when she was teaching a friend's daughter to drive. They went up a steep road and learned the land at the top was for sale. That was that. She said she lives frugally to save money. But some of her earnings will soon be spent on a Russian turtle she got as a gift. "It's only 6 months old, but it needs a climate that's constantly 90 degrees," she said. In the house, all the solar power goes to him. "It's this little guy that'll probably force me onto the grid so I can keep him cozy," Ryan said. "And I'm ready to take a shower in my own house."

Nice to read that little Natasha Ryan is not crying anymore.

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A Brief History of Plastic Surgery in Hollywood

• 1927
• 1973
• 2014
• Bonus: Merv Griffin and Totie Fields Discuss Plastic Surgery

1927

In 1927, Hal Roach releases Anything Once a Mabel Normand short in which Nora Hayden plays the rich Mrs. De Puyster who has a face lift in anticipation of presenting herself at the costume cotillion. Ms. Normand plays the dry cleaner's assistant saddled with the task of bringing the cleaned costume to Mrs. De Puyster's home. Knowing how Mabel can be, hijinks ensue.

See Mabel Normand in the two reeler on archive.org.

1973

In 1973, Elizabeth Taylor has a face lift in the hopes of saving her marriage (to Henry Fonda in a small, yet pivotal role). The film was considered quite controversial back in the day for its interpolation of graphic footage of a face lift procedure.

See Elizabeth Taylor in Ash Wednesday on YouTube
or email me for a link to download a VHS rip.

2014

In 2014, Renée Zellweger walks the red carpet after years out of the spotlight.

Bonus: Totie Fields Talks Plastic Surgery

In what looks to be the late 1960s Merv Griffin had discussions with plastic surgeon Dr. Kurt Wagner on his eponymously titled talk show. Guests included Victor Borge and Totie Fields. Totie Fields is a big supporter of plastic surgery. Interestingly many believe that it was the plastic surgery she had on her eyes which initiated the health issues that lead to her death. For more information on the life and career of comedian Totie Fields, see Totie Fields: A Blography.

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DREAM ON: The Official ABBA Bootlegs

How can a bootleg be official? I made it so on ABBAnatic: The Alternative ABBA Web Site.

It's been over twenty years since I bought my last ABBA bootleg. To this day, I still receive email missives from ABBA hoarders begging me to sell a copy of Little White Secrets or the three volume Missing Pieces. And you know what, despite my previous responses in the negative, I've decided it's time to upload files of these bootlegs to this here Internets (sic) so ABBA fans the world over can enjoy them as much as I have. No money need change hands.

The first files to drop are the tracks from Dream On. This cd is subtitled Solo Rarities & Guest Appearances and it lives up to the moniker. From the remixes to a healthy sampling of songs vocalized by Michael Tretow, ABBA's long-time engineer, this cd is one of my personal favorites. The sound quality runs from very good to tolerable (the Tretow songs). Most of it was recorded directly from vinyl. Dream On Too is the companion CD and will be available soon.

1. SOS (3:17)
   This, Agnetha's Swedish solo version of the ABBA classic, is commercially available on other compilations, specifically På Svenska.
2. Yo No Fui Quien Dijo Adios (4:06)
   This is the Spanish version of Agnetha's single I Wasn't The One Who Said Goodbye.
3. I Won't Let You Go (5:54)
   An excellent remix of one of my favorite Agnetha songs. The original is on the album Eyes Of A Woman.
4. Let It Shine (3:44)
   This mix, subtitled The Bright Remix, is just that, a brighter, more dance-oriented mix of the cut from Agnetha's final album I Stand Alone.
5. The Last Time (6:50)
   This extended remix is also off Agnetha's album I Stand Alone.
6. Shine (6:23)
   This extended remix is taken from the title tune of Frida's 1984 album Shine.
7. Fernando (4:09)
   This, Frida's Swedish solo version, is commercially available on other compilations, specifically På Svenska.
8. Chiquitita (5:19)
   Recorded live at the United Nations, this cut was released only on the UNICEF concert album The Gift of Song; now out-of-print. The best part is hearing Gilda Radner introduce the group in her best put-upon Swedish accent.
9. Bravo Tu As Gagne (4:37)
   A beautiful French version of The Winner Takes It All by the esteemed Mireille Mathieu - she of the black hair helmet and glasses. Her voice has a timbre similar to Agnetha and with Benny, Bjorn and Frida providing backup one could almost swear ... A real find on this cd!
10. Paper Dolls (3:23)
11. Bottom Coming Up (2:47)
12. Moonbeams (2:49)
13. I Can See What You Mean (3:25)
14. Sandwich (2:57)
    The five songs above feature Michael Tretow, ABBA's long-time engineer, on lead vocals. Benny and Bjorn play piano and guitar, respectively and Agnetha and Frida sing back-up. Curiosities at first, I enjoy listening to them, especially Moonbeams; a song that only lists Agnetha on piano and Frida with backing vocals.

Email me or leave a comment if you'd like a link to download a ZIP of the music and CD art.

9/10/14 : I received a cease and desist order so unfortunately the download is no longer available. Enjoy the text, add a comment telling me how much you enjoyed it and sign it with an email address so I can say thanks.

Boxing Barbra ... and Fanny!

An Examination of the Streisand/Brice Boxing Film Coincidences

Be Yourself (streaming on Netflix and Amazon Prime) is a 1930 comedy about a woman who becomes manager of a prizefighter; it stars Fannie (née Fanny) Brice. The Main Event is a 1976 comedy about a woman who becomes manager of a prizefighter; it stars Barbra Streisand. Of course, Streisand famously plays Brice in the 1968 film Funny Girl which then begs the question: is The Main Event a remake of Be Yourself?

Robert Armstrong, Fanny Brice, Harry Green, Whitman Mayo, Ryan O'Neal, Barbra Streisand

In both films, the role of fight manager is hoisted upon the women. Brice becomes manager after fighter Robert Armstrong bemoans his lack of representation. Streisand loses her perfume company when her business manager absconds with all her assets except her contract with fighter Ryan O’Neal. But Be Yourself is, delightfully, a musical. As singer Fannie Field, Brice sings five songs (credit to Billy Rose) in a nightclub (except as noted).

This version contains a few barbs aimed at Brice’s ethnicity

1. When A Woman Loves a Man - first as a charming uptempo number with chorus girls and then as a torch song à la My Man
2. Cooking Breakfast For The One I Love - first as a duet with Robert Armstrong (in an apartment home) and as a solo by a bellhop (in the nightclub)
3. Is There Something the Matter with Otto Kahn? - an operatic parody referencing the infamous financier)
4. Kicking a Hole in the Sky - production reminiscent of the gospel-like Great Day from Streisand’s Funny Lady
5. It’s Gorgeous To Be Graceful - a comedic ballet reminiscent of Swan Lake from Streisand’s Funny Girl

Musically, The Main Event has a Top 10 pop song in it’s discofied title tune (back with Fight) - credit to Paul Jabara, Bob Esty and Bruce Roberts. This film, having been made in the middle of the 70s aerobics craze, also includes a choreographed aerobics class in which Streisand and other femmes firm things up. There are also lengthy scenes underscored by the Loggins and Messina's track Angry Eyes.

Single version of The Main Event b/w Fight

If you've seen Streisand in Funny Girl, watching Fanny Brice in Be Yourself illustrates just how good Streisand is portraying Brice. Double-takes, confused idioms and Yiddishisms are uncannily identical in the films. But I digress.

The arm and the foot

Back in the world of boxing, a romance develops between the fighter and manager in each film. Although the relationship in Be Yourself is not consummated with a kiss so much as a touch of the arm, the outcome is clear. The outcome between Streisand and O'Neal is clear from the steam emanating off the screen and the arising of Mr. O'Neal's foot.

The iconic proboscises (proboscisi?)

(SPOILER PARAGRAPH) Amazingly, both films end with the manager throwing the big fight. Why? L’amour, l’amour, toujours, l’ amour. Also, an interesting sub plot of the earlier film includes fighter Armstrong having a nose job - something neither Brice nor Streisand did. Brice even yells to her fighter's opponent how to win - Go for the nose. The beaker.

Did Barbra Streisand see the Fanny (née Fannie) Brice film Be Yourself before (she and Jon Peters and) Barwood Pictures started negotiations for the filming of The Main Event? Streisand most certainly watched Be Yourself during preparations for Funny Girl. In that case, The Main Event could be deemed a reimagining of Be Yourself just as the ballad version of The Main Event (previously available only on the soundtrack LP, now on YouTube) is a reimagining of the disco hit. I'll tweet @BarbraStreisand for a clue.

Ballad version of The Main Event (not b/w Fight)

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T'ain't Nobody's Biz-ness If I Disco

I first became entranced by Tain't Nobody's Biz-ness If I Do (written in the early 1920s by Porter Grainger and Everett Robbins) at the same time that Diana Ross (as Billie Holiday in the film Lady Sings The Blues) became entranced with it. Since 1972, I have amassed almost one hundred different versions of the song that tells you everything you need to know about life in eight bars. This includes tracks by Bessie Smith, Alberta Hunter, Fats Waller, Abbey Lincoln, Billie Holiday, Diana Ross, Jimmy Witherspoon, Eric Clapton, Willie Nelson, Dinah Washington, Wynton Marsalis, Cher, John Mayer, The Ink Spots and Dante's Inferno.

And damn if the version by that last artist isn't a disco anthem that has never been uploaded to YouTube!

Dante's Inferno was a disco group created by Ron Dante, the lead singer and producer of Sugar Sugar by The Archies and co-producer of Barry Manilow's biggest hit albums from the 1970s. Leave it to the white bread man behind the hit version of I Write The Songs to create a disco version of one of the blackest songs ever written. So, in its WORLD INTERNET PREMIERE, a deep cut from the self-titled LP Dante's Inferno (which did have a burnin' hit single called Fire Island), the much valued disco version of T'ain't Nobody's Biz-ness If I Do.

Betty Grable and Bob Hope courtesy of the 1945 short film, All Star Bond Rally

Although the lyrics have been modified in many of the versions, here they are as I learned them.

There ain't nothing I can do, nothing I can say
That folks don't criticize me
But I'm goin' do what I want to anyway
And I don't care if they despise me
If I should take a notion
To jump into the ocean
'T ain't nobody's bizness if I do
If I go to church on Sunday
Then cabaret all day Monday
Ain't nobody's bizness if I do
If my friend ain't got no money
And I say "take all mine, honey"
'T ain't nobody's bizness if I do
If I give him my last nickel
And it leaves me in a pickle
'T ain't nobody's bizness if I do
I'd rather my man would hit me
Than for him jump up and quit me
'T ain't nobody's bizness if I do
I swear I won't call no copper
If I'm beat up by my poppa
'T ain't nobody's bizness if I do

Other tracks from the Dante's Inferno LP are already online - disco versions of Fats Waller's Ain't Misbehavin' and They're Playing Our Song, title song from the Broadway musical.

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It's Not Porn. It's Bette Midler!

One Gay Man's Sexual Journey

I spent my first year of college in Weinstein dormitory at New York University. It was the first time I had lived under a roof that did not belong to my parents. This new freedom started me thinking about my virginity...and losing it. But there was something that I MUST do first.

For too many years, I had been blessed with nocturnal emissions or wet dreams - dreams that culminate in an eruption of seminal fluid. Fall asleep; dream about a sexually gratifying scenario and wake up to a pulsating urethra and wet, sticky underwear. It is an out-of-body experience - old school virtual sex - that is real. That reality allowed me to live under my parents roof without a diurnal (daytime) sexual release. That's right - I was 18 years old and had never masturbated in the truest sense of the word.



Tonight, alone in my new dorm room, I MUST pulsate my urethra while I am awake. For the first time. No one to walk in on me now! I left the dormitory and walked down 8th Street looking for something to help me pulsate. I passed a news stand and looked at the pornographic magazines. I was mortified.

I can't buy a magazine like this. What is this vendor going to say? Is he going to hold up the magazine and yell, "Hey, everyone look at the pimply kid buying his first piece of pornography!!"
I couldn't do it. I couldn't. Then...I saw a magazine with a picture of Bette Midler on its cover - right next to the latest issues of the male magazines Blueboy and Drummer. What's this? After Dark?



I rifled through the magazine and found a tasteful portfolio of shirtless ballet dancers in leotards and come hither bodies in advertisements aimed at the Christopher Street man. It wasn't porn though - it was Bette Midler.

I bought the magazine and went back to my room. I lit some candles (which I have never done since) and laid on my bed, face down. (Well, that's how I slept at the time.) As I turned each page I turned my mind to the pictures; I would read the Midler interview later. Ultimately, with some helpful hip gyrations, I pulsated my urethra. And I was awake!

That's masturbation?

So I did it again to be sure - this time face up - and it worked again.

That's masturbation!



I went into the shower and did it again.

You mean I could've been doing this whenever I wanted? Awake?

By the end of the week, I had lost my virginity. But that's another story.


This is the other story, the 'hole' story

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ABBAnatic: A Download From The 90s ABBA Site

It's 1993. I want to learn HTML. What subject do I have the depth of knowledge needed to create a web site and accomplish my goal?

Seven years before Mamma Mia the musical and right after the late 1992 release of ABBA Gold, ABBAnatic: The Alternative ABBA Web Page was first conceived and uploaded to the domain servers at http://www.sirius.com/funnyguy/abbanatic.html. ABBAnatic is an amalgamation of ABBA and fanatic. (ABBAholic was also an option.) Over the next five years, I added many ABBA related sections to the site until I had nothing left to say (or I learned HTML - whichever came first). I still receive email from folks happening upon ABBAnatic now at www.AManAndAMouse.com.

Considering this background, I recently received a tweet that read: @AManAndAMouse Are you the author of 90's ABBA site "ABBAnatic"? Huh? I'm not OLD enough to have a 90s site. I woke up from that pleasant dream realizing that I am, in fact, old enough to have written ABBAnatic: The Alternative ABBA Web Page twenty years ago. So how lovely is that to be remembered!

Links for the ABBAnatic Challenged will open in new window

Shhhh! The Official ABBA Bootleg Page

Kristina! pa North America: An Interactive Adventure

Ring Ring or Wrong Wrong: A Controversy

In Search Of... Abba Day 1996 and Then Some

Muriel's Wedding

Agnetha and Frida: The Post-ABBA Page CHESS in HTML ABBA Lyrics A-Y

Download For ABBAnatics

In recognition of this 20 year milestone, here's a gift for ABBAnatics worldwide: a rip of a two (Licorice Pizza) record set called The ABBA Special. Although the cardboard gatefold cover and the vinyl LPs inside are not dated, it was made after The Visitors (music included) but before Under Attack or The Day Before You Came (not included). The record labels have the recognizable red and green Atlantic imprint.

The ABBA Special

The ABBA Special is an hour and a half edit of solo interviews with Agnetha Faltskog, Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvaeus, Anni-frid Lyngstad and Stig Andersson about their early lives and the beginnings of ABBA. Interspersed amongst the interesting questions (including Björn, do you think ABBA is hip?), a bunch of ABBA hits are played en toto. The interviewer is Bob Hamilton of Radio Report and, at the program's end, he seems to call it The Story Of ABBA although the LP cover and four record labels are stamped The ABBA Special. Either way, if you like ABBA you won't want to miss this ready-for-radio autobiography of their humble beginnings.

Click to download a ZIP that contains 4 MP3 files, one for each LP side. I also included this video of ABBA singing California Here I Come in cowboy/saloon girl drag as a bonus. Let me know if there are issues with the download or the ZIP. Enjoy!

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A Two-Dimensional Biopic About Marilyn Monroe

Reviewed In An Open Letter to Julia Houston about BOMBSHELL

Dear Julia,
When Peter compared the script of BOMBSHELL, the new Marilyn musical from SMASH, to a two-dimensional biopic of Marilyn Monroe's life, I almost dropped my clam-feta-spinach pizza on my jeans. Honey, I have been to a two-dimensional biopic of Marilyn Monroe's life and that is one place you don't want to go. But I decided to revisit a two-dimensional biopic of Marilyn Monroe's life anyway. I'm going in, Julia - so you don't have to!

The Sex Symbol purports to tell the story of Monroe's life through its tale of Kelly Williams (Connie Stevens in a career-halting performance). It details her marriages (teenage, sports figure, creative figure), affairs (politician, movie studio heads) and the erratic behavior (alcohol, drugs) that leads to death, naked and alone, in the bedroom of her Hollywood home. The Sex Symbol aired on September 17, 1974 as an episode of The Movie Of The Week, ABC's anthology series of 73 minute world premiere television movies. The screenplay was based on The Symbol, a roman à clef novel by Alvah Bessie so, although technically not a biopic, it's close (and two-dimensional) enough for our purposes here.

Connie Stevens, in what I recall being touted as her finest acting achievement to date, cries, coos, snots and coddles her way through this one, trying to elicit sympathy but only succeeding in being disagreeable. Like the most enduring over-the-top performances, Stevens thought she was on to something; well I'm not sure what she was on to but it doesn't feel like acting. Her decision to go nude though (with strategically crossed legs) cements this as one that will be remembered in the dankest cobwebs of the Internet.

The movie takes place the night of Williams' death as the symbol drinks, drugs and ruminates about her circumstances, sometimes speaking with her psychiatrist or other persons on the telephone. Flashbacks detail her triumphs (cement breasts at Grauman's Chinese Theatre) and tragedies (a dad who won't talk to her on the phone) with these vignettes filling in the gaps missed while laughing at Ms. Stevens' frizzy hair and one note emote. In all fairness, I must admit to having a lump in my throat at the ACTUAL death scene; she kind of grew on me.

Aside from documenting the major Monroe life points, the focus of the movie is a grudge match between the symbol and gossip columnist Agatha Murphy, played by Shelley Winters. Aggie is a mashup of Louella Parsons and Hedda Hopper - and considering this was the '70s, Rona Barrett. Aggie hates Kelly and does everything in her power to destroy her. Many of the movie's scenes are comprised of Williams and entourage watching Aggie destroy her on television - which does not make for exciting television watching for those of us on this side of the box.

The Sex Symbol was über controversial in the '70s. Two versions of the film were released. The first in which Stevens is clothed in a negligee during her climactic death was filmed for American television. The second in which the negligee drops to the floor early on was filmed for European theaters. The European theatrical version runs 108 minutes - that's 35 more minutes of, among other things, boobies, lesbianism, rape and a bedroom scene in which Williams and her artist husband discuss her frigidity (without actually using the word). Upon announcing plans to air The Sex Symbol, ABC was threatened with legal action although nothing came of the talk.

The Sex Symbol is, what they call in the biz, timeless. The movie was made in 1974 for probably $500,000. The clothes are decidedly 70s but the business of Hollywood is decidedly 50s. Throw that in with the gossip columnist wielding so much power being more of a 30s-40s concept and we have the history of show business. That's quite an accomplishment for such a tiny movie.

So Julia if the script for BOMBSHELL is anything like this movie, listen to Peter!!! Although by the time you've read this, you'll probably be sleeping with him thus, undoubtedly, listening to him. I would.

xoxo
michael

The Sex Symbol has never been released for home sale on any digital media format. I have an MP4 of the European version. Leave a comment or email me if you'd like a copy.

See my Pinterest page for a slew of
pictures of Connie Stevens from throughout her life and career.

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Vicki Lawrence vs. The Other Woman

In 1975, almost three years after the phenomenal success of The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia, Vicki Lawrence released a single on Private Stock Records called The Other Woman. This low-charting single (#81) is one of two that ensures Vicki not be labeled a one-hit wonder in music history reference books. (The second single from the The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia LP, He Did With Me, is the other.) The only time I've heard The Other Woman was in 1975 when Vicki performed it on The Mike Douglas Show, a daily chat show that aired in the mid afternoon.

Beautiful.
For almost forty years now the refrain I remember from that performance of The Other Woman has haunted me like a Chile Relleno. It has attached itself to the nether regions of my mind until I could take no more and bought myself a copy of the hard-to-find 45 RPM single on eBay for $9.99 ON SALE!

The B-side is Cameo from Vicki's second LP Ships In
The Night, produced by Tommy “Snuff” Garrett.
So for my second WORLD INTERNET PREMIERE, I am posting The Other Woman in digital format for all Vicki Lawrence fans to enjoy. I have searched for years in hopes of snagging a digitized copy but now I put it on YouTube for eternity - or until someone with a connection to the long-gone Private Stock Records tells me to take it down.

Written by Tom Bahler and Harry Shannon
Produced by Tommy “Snuff” Garrett

Send me an email or leave a comment below if you'd like a link to download Vicki's rare third album.
Newborn Woman was never released in the US (or on CD).
The ZIP also contains some bonus tracks.

LYRICS

I'm up early every Monday morning there's some laundry to do
I'm emptying out his pockets while the kids go off to school
And then I see the letter and my heart just breaks in two
Its another woman's writing, saying “Baby, I love you”

Well 10 years of being married to him I haven't let myself letdown
So I make a quick appointment to do some work at the gym downtown
What a shock to finally find out that my nicest dress don't fit
So I sit down at my mirror and I get out my makeup kit

The other woman is in for the fight of her life
I've loved him too much and too long, to have him taken away
Oh that would be the day!
I'm going to bury the hurt, gonna get down to work
Roll up my sleeves and be what he needs…a lover at night
Oh and not just a wife, you bet your life, I'm gonna keep him.

Well I read the daily papers and we discuss the latest news
And I love him each and every night, just the way that I used to do
Well sometimes it just takes giving to get something back again
 Now there'll never be another woman and a whole new life begins.

The other woman is in for the fight of her life
I've loved him too much and too long, to have him taken away
Oh that would be the day!
I'm going to bury the hurt, gonna get down to work
Roll up my sleeves and be what he needs…a lover at night
Oh and not just a wife, you bet your life.

The other woman is in for the fight of her life
I've loved him too much and too long, to have him taken away
Oh that would be the day!
I'm going to bury the hurt, gonna get down to work
Roll up my sleeves and be what he needs…a lover at night
Oh and not just a wife, you bet your life.

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Un Bouquet de Fleurs

I was watching an episode of Unsung on TV One when I was finally able to identify a song I hadn't heard in decades. Until this one hour biography, I was never able to figure out who was singing this Kate Bush-esque song. The biography was about Minnie Riperton and the song, Les Fleurs, was the first cut on her first solo album Come to My Garden, released in 1970.

Minnie is now most well-known for her 1975 hit Loving You and her daughter, Maya Rudolph. The songstress and mother died in 1979 at the age of 31. Check out this trippy, flower-ful video of this incredible tune - sung from the point of view of un fleur.

Will somebody wear me to the fair?
Will a lady pin me in her hair?
Will a child find me by a stream?
Kiss my petals and weave me through a dream.

For all of these simple things and much more a flower was born
It blooms to spread love and joy faith and hope to people forlorn

Inside every man lives the seed of a flower
If he looks within he finds beauty and power

Ring all the bells sing and tell the people that be everywhere that the flower has come
Light up the sky with your prayers of gladness and rejoice for the darkness is gone
Throw off your fears let your heart beat freely at the sign that a new time is born

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